it's almost your birthday, dad.

I would do anything to be able to hand you that flower. It is such a small gesture, but a gesture that I haven't been able to make in nearly ten years. I just want to see you. I want to smell you. I want to make sure that you think I am doing the right things, that I am making the right choices. I want you to meet the man I am so insanely in love with. I want to get your blessing. I want to be able to call you everyday. I just want the hurt of all of the things I can't say to you, I can't do with you, to go away. I am worried that overtime I will lose all memories of you, as I have already started to lose a lot. That scares me more than anything. I miss you so much.